Making an identity of pain

Half of woman's face with closed eyes against black background

“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

When we are grieving deeply, our pain can be so overwhelming that it seems to have taken over our entire life and identity. It’s important to remember that no matter how intense our relationship is with our pain, it is still not who we are. When we remind ourselves that it’s just something we are in relationship with (even an overwhelming intense one at times), it helps us keep our identity separate from it so that we do not find ourselves stuck with it for good.